Attached.peace.

. . .

drop dead silence..

its kinda hard to voice my words over the phone..

hard.. it is..

i emo seriously.. last night.. after the call ends..

nvm.. forget bout it..

Its my problem.. actually..

i have this weird pessimistic thingy going on..

whenever i had some problem with her..

YES! its her and her only..others? i wont even bother.. :D

It's my nature though..

Every previous reconnections[1]..

started out fine and nice..

but when i started to get intensely[2] attached..

that's when the downfall[3] begins.. 

[1] previous posts have mentioned about it.. in case u dunno.. its a know-when-to-retreat and a contact-some-time-later thing..

[2] intensely as in literally intense.. really intense.. LOL!

[3] its time pull the know-when-to-retreat act.. its a virtue knowing when to retreat.. but im not gonna stop :D

By "attached".. i mean mentally attached..

and when im in this state of mind..

words from her is the major push to my mood..

I can be cheerful..

I can be excited..

I can be optimism..

I can be surprised..

I can be astonished..

I can be irritated..

I can be nervous..

I can be sad..

I can be disappointing..

And.. on top of ALL..

I can be Jealous.. :(

changes instantly as her words turn out to be...

ps: im wondering how much longer it'll take me to be looking back at these EMO POSTS.. and laugh like a bitch.. yes.. literally a bitch.. *grins* HAHHAHAHHAHA..

1 word is enough to cast me into

the distant, stranded, "Winter Wonderland"

4 9666 888,811199

23/11/10 23:51

I'm still in for the fight.

Solitude.Ness.

After searching my font folder for awhile,

i paused.

. . .

DAYYYUM.. i thought "Century Gothic" is a default font..

ITS NOT IN MY FONT FOLDER !!!

for those who're not familiar with "Century Gothic" font..

its a san serif font type..

the reason i get so obssessed..

is that.. somehow..

when i first tried out the font..

its like i can almost feel the weight it carries..

by weight, i dont mean grammes.. its the stability and also the dignity..

ps:"stability" & "dignity".. WHAT A JOKE..

i simply just cant get the suitable words.. 

so i might as well just throw in some bombastic words.. 

and i hope u get what i mean..

i mean the word to replace "stability" & "dignity"..

LOLOL.. i shouldnt be fuzzing around with the font..

forget bout it.. its not important :D

woooooooooooooooooots.. 

can u believe it?!

i mean.. LOLOLOL..

2 smses.. sent me off facing O Most Awful One, Amnesia..

HOLYSHIT.. haunts me for at least 2 hours..

rolling rolling rolling rolling hey..!

dun get excited..

its not like she said "yes" :D

but i can already be so hyped..

wonder what will happen if she is to say "yes"..

*wide grin across my face*

If i was to wait for 5 mins instead of 3..

DAYYUM..

i tell you.. i can be like walking in the air.. 

like no problem..

WELL..

shit happens.. when u least expected..

No replies from her..

the next day..

isnt that awful..

whole day.. its like a body without its soul..

LOL.. sounded lk a emo bitch?

of course emo lah.. no reply from her lah..

Well.. i find myself the perfect excuse for not replying me..

"Her father confiscated her phone"..

judging by she told me she was scold by her father..

when we're on the phone last night..

sigh.. everything goes perfectly fine before her father shows up..

I DUN FEEL CONTENTED TONIGHT.. :(

 it can be "la vie en rose" this second
and "solitude" another


87778877778 633

8877733 555666888333,33
22/11/10 01:27

contented :D

even a slap.. a literally palm to face slap..
or a powerful kick in the crotch.. OUCCHH

cant even wake me up from this dreadful dream..
because..
im contented.. with what im having now..
its sad.. but.. im happy with it.. :D  

LOL.. sad but happy.. what am i talking lah.. 
well.. this is how joke i can be.. when im in love..
/right-thumb's up pose! and a wink with a wide grin ;)

is it really that hard?

i mean..

dayyyyyyum.. she's 16..

how complicated can that be..?!

but then.. i failed..

trust me.. not once.. but 

all those reconnections.. =_= fingers cant handle the numbers..

BUT..Things sure had been heated up the past few days..

for the better.. i guess :D

well well well.. the latest reconnection.. is a bliss :D

hmmmm.. at least thats what i think so..
Whatever lah.. :D

and i thought "moon river"

will never ring on me

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21/11/10 00:42 

missed euu.

27th March, Friday, 2009.

it’s the first time i started to try the habit of writing diary..
so.. actually.. i woke up around 2 something today..
the first thing i do everyday i woke up..
i close my eyes again..
recollecting dreams.. tracing euu in my dreams..
but.. today.. i cant find euu anywhere..
it’s like.. euu walk out of my dreams..
don’t want to be a part in it anymore.. i’m pessimistic.. i know.. :(

err.. yea.. i was quite emo-ish this afternoon..
tried to stay away from my phone..
trying not to text euu..
for the whole day ? forever ?

* tick-tock. tick-tock. *
the clock’s ticking seconds away..
but solitariness gains every minute displayed..
staring at my computer..
doing nothing.. but just staring..
been slacking every minute i had this afternoon..

its 20:15.. * aaaaaaaargh *
i stared at my phone so much..
been missing euu so much..
i can’t really hold my yearning back any longer..
picked up my phone..
which is right next to me..
and i texted euu :)
so.. its like.. i can only endure loneliness for around 6 hours..
lame it is.. i know =_=

i can’t help myself missing euu so much..
im so gonna hang on to strawberrii..
A LW A Y S

Episode - i say.

People says..
"my love to u.. is like a straight line..
loving u until the day dies.."
I say..
"my love to u.. is like a circle..
going on and on.. with no boundaries.. without ending.."

People says..
"i'm chasing u in a circle..
where u and i.. looping in the circuit.."
I say..
"i'm chasing u in a circle..
but u always seems to be in the center.."


People says..
" 'Good Morning'..
you brighten up my gloomy day.."
I say..
" 'Good Morning'..
can i be the one giving u a cheery day..?"


People says..
"i love you..
more than i could possibly imagine i do.."
I say..
"i love you..
more than you possibly ever imagine i do.."


People says..
"here u go..
u can have my infinite love.."
I say..
"here u go..
u can have my one and only love.."

<3 from,
LeX.

Episode - strawberrii.

If you're just the girl..?

Lying on my bed..
Over and over again..
Vividness.. i hope it will be..
Each day.. i long it would be..

With doubt clogging my mind..
Entangling with my resolution..
Never to be clear of my true intention..

Pushing beliefs almost reaching the peak..
Inexact of what ur thoughts might be..
Nervous owned my consciousness..
Gaining stress.. eyes closed without awareness..

Obsession i have..
Not only with words i compose..
Loudly i yell.. softly i whisper..
YOU'RE JUST THE GIRL MAKIN' ME SURRENDER !!